Ever wonder what happens when young men with no social skills come into money? I found out on Craigslist. Here’s a quick excerpt just in case the job post is terminated. I took the liberty of writing up the perfect resume for the job.
$150 per hour for Tickling (Midtown East) Date: 2010-01-07, 10:51PM ESTReply to: job-kpbqw-1542566127@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]I am seeking female models to work with on my tickling video project. Video shoots will be scheduled throughout this month paying $150 per hour cash. The footage shows models’ natural reactions while being tickled. Therefore, you must be very ticklish to be a good candidate for this project.
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Cassie M. Wilson
14 Live Free or Drive St., Lincoln, NH
SassyCassie11@email.com; 603-555-5079
OBJECTIVE Influence and entertain audiences through the integration of laughter and feminine helplessness.
RELATED EXPERIENCE
Freelance Girlfriend C. M. Wilson Lincoln, NH 2002-Present
- Specialize in telling boys where I’m definitely not ticklish so they better not even try it.
- Enhance tickle counteraction by negotiating and networking with third-party tickle contractors.
Associate Bestie Amy Albert, Co. Inc. Fairview, NH 2003-Present
- Draft quarterly reports on platonic advancement and intimate solicitations.
- Kiss girls on the lips at parties because the boys say they bet we won’t do it.
Flirtation Consultant My Friend’s Boyfriends Global 2003-Present
- Counsel boys in tickle strength, style and preferences in private, low-pressure sessions.
Sleepover Coordinator Lucy’s House Lincoln, NH 2001-2006
- Developed and directed successful tickle fights in both bedroom and living room settings.
- Oversaw protection of lamps, cocoa mugs and other breakables.
Infant Wilson Family Ocean City, FL 1989-1992
- Wiggled and giggled at playtime, holiday parties and weekend get-togethers.
- Promoted funny face- and noise-making through whines, whimpers and kicks.
ADDITIONAL EXPERIENCE
Karaoke Master Okie Dokie Karaoke Lincoln, NH 2006-Present
- Possess working knowledge of all lyrics and dance moves to Beyonce’s “Single Ladies.”
Car Wash Sign Holder LHS Cheering Squad Lincoln, NH 2003-2006
- Enthusiastically pointed at a sign and nodded while wearing a tank top.
Actress with Lines Peanut Butter Players Ocean City, FL Summer, 1995
- Made my aunt cry in performance as Fern in “Charlotte’s Web.”
AWARDS AND AFFILIATIONS
- Best Laugh, Lincoln High School, Class of 2006 Spring, 2006
- Recipient: A hickey Prom, 2005
- Member: Girls Only Movie Club 1994-1999
TICKLISH SPOTS Stomach, sides, armpits, lower back, upper thigh, feet, neck, knee, shoulder blades
REFERENCES
Kevin Kelso, Ex-Boyfriend, Period Four Social Studies, KelsotheMan@email.com, 603-555-0137
Don Wilson, Dad, My House, DWilson@email.com, 603-555-3841
Amy Albert, BFFL, Lincoln High School, ImOnTeamEdward@email.com, 603-555-2577
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